Excited!

For the first time I really feel like I can do this... And it's all wrapped up in CBT... I'm a dork, I know. But that's how these things work sometimes. Dieting has always been super hard for me because I get very defeated... I cheat, I go off. I don't lose weight anymore, I go off. And I always seem to go for the diets which require huge changes all at once and it's rough when someone is sitting there telling you you can't have something you really want ever again... I think I read once where someone hit the nail on the head and said that denying yourself some foods really feels like you're losing a friend. You're losing what you've always relied on to soothe you when you're having a rough day, something that's always been there for you. Hey, if it makes you feel better, that's what you're going to go back to time and time again (ask any number of people who deal with an addiction.) BUT! I was turned onto a weight-loss frame of mind by a professor yesterday and decided to check it out. It's Judith Beck, who is the daughter of Aaron Beck (the founder of CBT). Now for those who don't know, CBT is Cognitive-Behavior therapy... And also my favorite theory because it makes the most sense to me... It's all about correcting the erroneous thoughts we have which in turn changes how we behave. So today I looked into it a little bit, and low and behold were the answers I've been searching for. I always knew my frame of mind when it came to dieting wasn't "right", but I was never given any alternative solutions to those thoughts! Sometimes simply having someone else validate thought patterns and responses is really all you need to change how you approach a problem area. So so so, I decided that if I'm going to really get serious about losing the weight through changes in my eating, I'm going to have to buckle down and get involved in this! I ordered her book and workbook from amazon, and it should be here within the week! I also have her webpage tabbed which provides daily support for problem areas (http://www.beckdietsolution.com/daily-diet-solutions/). I couldn't be more excited about it, I needed a boost, and now I've got it from an unlikely source! Who woulda thunk that the very line of work I want to go into would help me this much in a seemingly completely unrelated area? :)

uggg

Today is one of those days you just want to give up. Where you start off seeing where your hard work and dedication has so paid off.. I'm where I think I want and need to be, I feel like I'm seeing changes in my body and I'm PROUD of myself, my classes are finally giving me information I need that I wanted to know, that I know I can be good at, and I have a goal - a beautiful 2013 Honda PCX150 scooter that is a dream to me for $3,000... and finally, a good phone interview and a solid promise for an in-person interview for an amazing job which pays GOOD that might help me finally realize my goals and attain them... then in 5minutes, all of the hope and promise and wonderfulness you've experienced gets smushed down. Trivialized. And you're left with a gaping hole that everything you've worked for means nothing to the person you want to impress the most. So... that's my day.

Still kickin' it!

Had quite a few setbacks, bike broken, having trouble finding a job etc. But I'm still working on my plan, got a new bike today even, since mine is super broken now, and I'm breaking it in. :p  So, today I walked to Sears then biked home with a new Schwinn :p I have a busy week this week with school, but am still pushing myself past what I think I can do.

*sneeze*

Biked yesterday, had an interview *hope I get it!!*, swam today in one of the open pools at my apt complex. One pool was closed by the health department (uh oh)... Also, I finally got my mailbox key, after a month of living here lol... And today I got my veggie food in the mail WOOT WOOT! Now I get protein added to my diet lol.
Got some reading to do tonight for class tomorrow annnnnd.. nothing else. I get to hang out here :p

*yawn*

Had a seminar all of today at school for child abuse/neglect. It was interesting, depressing at times, but interesting. Considering that's one of the areas I want to specialize in someday, it was fascinating to me, though I wish we delved deeper into how to treat those patients who have sustained trauma. I stayed up a bit too late last night, and I'm not used to getting up at 7am, so it was a bit rough to sit in a class from basically 9am to 5pm. Buuuut I made it, and now I'm halfway into getting credit for the 2 credit hour class. So that's pretty exciting! Biked to and from today, and stopped off at the CVS on my way home in order to get some more bread and fill the desire for my craving for chocolate ice cream. Bad, I know, but it's the first time I've had ice cream since moving here, and I decided I deserved a little treat for all the exercising I've been doing lately - including the bike ride home... uphill... in 105 degree heat. As long as it doesn't become a habit (not like I could afford it anyways lol) then I don't think it's that bad of a thing. :)
I am getting a bit concerned though with my joints. I feel tons better than when I started this only a couple short weeks ago, and I feel like my body is changing and getting stronger, but I'm having some issues with pain in my ankle (again). I've physically done a lot this week already, so aside from the weekly deep cleaning of my apartment set for tomorrow, I'm going to take it a bit easy until Monday and work on some reading for school and catching up on sleep.

Bah humbag

More things going wrong... more bike issues, blog gets temporarily deleted lol... yeah... Anyways, I biked to and from school today, glad about that. Really tired though and going back and forth between being excited and being discouraged about.. everything. Wanting to crawl into bed and sleep now... I think I may do just that. Night night

Back to it...

Even though I didn't really feel like it (spotting a trend yet? lol), I went for a swim this afternoon - did 30 laps, played around a bit in the pool doing flips and such, and did 50 push-ups. I feel like I'm getting stronger, which is awesome! Next step is to reduce my food intake, but I don't think I'm quite ready to just yet, maybe in another week or two once I make working out an actual habit instead of simply something I'm forcing myself to do haha. I've got tons to read tonight for school tomorrow and a short assignment I need to complete, so going to keep this entry short. Cya tomorrow! :)