Here we go!

I'm on a mission to lose over 200 pounds... Yep, you read that right, 200. Not 20, not 50, not even 100. 200 pounds. Now this isn't the first time I've decided to lose basically another person off of my body, I've had on and off again relationships with the most radical diets out there and there comes a point where they just don't work anymore, I get discouraged and I give up. Here lately, I've come to realize that even though when I'm at the point where I feel like I'm starving myself and not getting the results I want, I'm in a far better position, physically, than when I don't do anything at all to help my body and give in to a lazy, chocolate and pasta filled lifestyle. What I decided I need to find my motivation to a total lifestyle makeover is accountability. This journey will be slow-going and, I know now, will be filled with times where I feel like I can't go on anymore, but it will also be filled with small triumphs. And I want to share this journey with you. Every joy and sorrow documented so that I can get the much needed support and accountability I need, and others can find their own motivation in my story.
To start this out... I don't own a scale. You might think it's a bit hard to tell if you're doing yourself any good by not recording weight, but there are a few main reasons for this. The first is this - traditional scales simply do not go up high enough to record my current weight (sad and depressing, I know, but it is reality). A second reason is that body weight (especially at my size) will very widely depending on water/fat/muscle composition and can give me numbers that aren't necessarily indicative of my actual success at true fat loss. And lastly, I don't care to be a certain number weight, I know I have at least 200 pounds to lose to be at a healthy level for my body, and looking, feeling and BEING healthy is far more important to me than weighing a certain number. That being said, I'm going by looks alone. Once I find what number I should be at, that may very well be a good guide later on, but for now, my body will be the focal point. I look at myself in the mirror several times a day, so weight loss can be tricky to see, but pictures taken every 2 weeks or so will show a much more comprehensive view on how I'm progressing through my journey.
The plan! I'm going to start slow in this because I think real change to last a lifetime takes time to develop so that you don't get burnt out. Stage 1 is simply to GET MOVING! Simple as that, I'm giving myself 3 options for exercise - swim 25laps and do 25 push-ups, walk 2 miles, or bike 4miles - and I need to do one of those options once a day, 5 times a week. Stage 2 is PORTION CONTROL! Simply limiting how much I eat of each meal will save me calories and combined with the first step, will really help me towards seeing how well my body can shed the extra blubber! Stage 3 is changing WHAT I eat! Meaning less high-calorie, high-sugar  and high-carb food and more of the good stuff. As I go along, each stage will be re-evaluated on a month-to-month basis, and as my body needs to consume less and exercise more, I can accommodate it by doing just that.
I'm sure some of you are wondering... Why now? Why not 5, 10 years ago? Why not next month, next year? The answer is simple. Why not? If I had stuck with diets in the past (even those that stopped really working and would only maintain my current weight loss) I would be in a lot better position now. I'm most definitely not getting any younger, so making this change will only be harder the older I get. Another reason is that I want to help those who are going through struggles of their own (heck I'm in school to learn how to do that! lol) and, even though I've made it through a lot of my own struggles in life, it seems very contradictory for me not to strive towards correcting the biggest personal pitfall in my personal life while others are seeking my help to correct their own shortcomings. Another big reason is that I want to have a family of my own someday (something which I was told recently, at my weight, is a current impossibility) and that having children is not only so important to me, but being around while they grow up is also extremely important. I can't begin to imagine starting a family just to be so selfish as to think another piece of chocolate cake (omg so yum!) is worth me being taken away from them before my time is up, or not being able to do the things with them that we all want to do because of my physical limitations. Add a little bit of personal pride in wanting to be HOT, and those are the reasons why I want to do this, and want to start NOW.
Actually, I wanted to start yesterday. So I started swimming :)  I swam my 25laps yesterday and did my 25 push-ups... Today I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. I wanted to sit in my apartment and veg out while watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy and playing Call of Duty... But I got my lazy ass up and went to the apartment pool and swam 40 laps!!! I wasn't super exhausted today after doing the 25 like I was yesterday, so I increased it by 5... I did 30.. then 35... before I knew it I was pushing 40 laps and had done 50 push-ups! I was extremely proud of myself! I didn't go as fast as I had yesterday in my laps, but speed isn't the goal, simply getting up and moving around was, and I couldn't feel better about myself for doing it! :)
Tomorrow marks the first day of graduate school, and given that I don't own a car right now and live off-campus, I'm going to get my exercise in for the day by biking to and from school (4miles round trip!). I'll also take my first picture for this blog tomorrow (if you value your vision at all, I would recommend skipping that day haha) so we have a starting point! :)
As you've seen thus far, I'm going to be very open, honest and blunt in this blog, because I don't want to sugar-coat anything (haha, get it?), that's simply not the point. The point is to let you in on the raw experience with me and give me a platform of support from others. This will be good for us all :)